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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Best Man

So I'm off to Maine today for my friend's wedding. I'll be away for awhile so please don't take this as an invitation to rob my apartment. I don't have much anyway!

I'm the best man this weekend which makes me a little nervous. I'm dreading "the speech." I'm less than 3 days away from the big day and I have no clue what I'm going to say. I've known for months this day was coming yet here I sit . . . unprepared. I'm clueless. I've only met the bride to be twice. And to make matters worse, no one at this wedding plays poker! I probably won't play poker for a week which is probably good because I've been getting smoked at the online tables. I'm officially on a week long session of tiltdom! I need the break but I still don't know what I'm going to say at this wedding. Maybe a couple of fart jokes and sex jokes will do the job? Did I mention that the grooms parents live next to Bill and Hilary Clinton in Chappaqua, NY? Maybe penis jokes aren't a good idea.

Either way, I must remember to jump the video guy after the wedding so no one sees the footage of me wasted trying to talk to a bunch of rich people at the reception. Oh and I will be wasted before the ceremony starts. That you can bet on! After I'm done, they'll be calling me the worst man! Oh boy, I feel a drunk, bloated and sweaty weekend coming on. Look out!


At 6/29/2005 3:42 AM, Blogger Dr. Pauly said...

Have fun.

At 6/29/2005 12:10 PM, Blogger Scott Chaffin said...

Be sure to regale the wedding party about the time yall charmed the strippers out of Scores, and drove upstate for a bacchanalian weekend in Saratoga.

At 6/29/2005 1:11 PM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

A cigar joke is a must if the neighbors drop by.

At 6/29/2005 2:23 PM, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

Folks, and how can I ever forget how me (buddies name here) use to pick up those young interns...or how we went to TJ on a whim and picked up those cheap hookers and didn't have condoms but we went for anyways...yes, those were the days. Or last night when we didn't have condoms with the strippers but went for it anyway...yes, good old (friends name) knows how to Party!!! A toast!


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