Welcome to Derek's Poker Blog

Sunday, November 18, 2007

A bad case of the Mondays . . .

I like to give people nicknames at work. Usually behind their back.

One guy looks like Milhouse from the Simpson's. This guy is a dead ringer for the little Van Houten boy.

I recently found out that other people at work call him Milhouse too. I wonder if he knows?

I have a hot assistant. She thinks Milhouse is a horny pervert. He always tries to look down her shirt. She has huge boobs.



Two weeks ago, I gave Milhouse a new nickname.

It was shortly after 9am on a Monday morning.

I was on my way to the restroom. I wanted wash the NYC subway off my right hand. That's when it happened. It changed a few lives that day.

Milhouse shot out of his office like a subway rat looking for food.

Only Milhouse was grabbing his ass checks.

He was kind of running but not really. It closely resembled the peepee dance. A fast start out of the gate turned into slow motion.

Be quick but don't hurry.

The last 10 feet to the restroom was the tough stretch for him.

He was obviously in pain.

I'm sure a stall door was kicked opened. He was lucky there was an opening.

Renegade gunslingers are known to kick open a saloon door or two when they mean business.

Milhouse was all about business. Crisis Management will do that to you, especially on a Monday morning.

I entered the bathroom to thunderous applause.

Milhouse was sitting in stall numero uno.

His shoes were off.

They were pushed to the side?

I heard toilet paper rustling.

No pants by his ankles?

I heard him muttering to himself.

Yes, Milhouse shit his pants.

I repeat. Milhouse shit his pants.

Milhouse was seen leaving the office at 10am . . . briefcase in hand.

Never to return?

He came back to work 2 days later.

If you haven't figured it out by now, I'll tell you his new nickname.

It's Mr. Hershey.

I was a big fan of that board game Clue.

And yes . . .

Mr Hershey did it.

In the bathroom.

With the plunger?

Poor poor Mr. Herhsey.



I'd like to thank Dr. Pauly for sucking out on me in a NL tournament hosted by Wil Wheaton. He busted me on a three way hand.

Nice catch donkey!

I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving week!


fsl250b.gif
Bonus Code: Pauly

8 Comments:

At 11/18/2007 9:34 PM, Blogger donkeypuncher said...

That's freakin' hilarious.

 
At 11/18/2007 9:57 PM, Blogger Fuel55 said...

Now that was funny

 
At 11/18/2007 10:59 PM, Blogger BadBlood said...

Derek takes writing what he knows about to new levels. Greatest toilet clogger I know.

 
At 11/19/2007 1:06 PM, Blogger Julius_Goat said...

Slow, astonished, admiring applause.

 
At 11/19/2007 3:48 PM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

If the assistant went topless would he have stopped to stare on his way to the bathroom?

Well done D.

 
At 11/20/2007 1:16 PM, Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

We have a guy who looks like a Hobbit. I call him Frodo. He is 4 feet tall and hairy as shit with big feet.

 
At 11/22/2007 1:29 AM, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

Caca Boy is what I would call him.

 
At 11/29/2007 2:02 PM, Blogger StB said...

Sounds like a shart of magnificent proportions.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home