Welcome to Derek's Poker Blog

Sunday, April 27, 2008

May 9, 2008 = 4 years old

It's About High Time . . . .

Since I'm coming up on the 4th anniversary of my poker blog, I thought I’d go old school.

And when I say old school, I mean a bad beat story.

A real bad beat story.

So don’t get your hopes up.

Poker content. Real poker. You can bet on that.

Luckily, no hand histories will be posted here. There’s a little twist though.

Let's reverse it for once.

Instead of talking about getting a bad beat, I thought it would be better to talk about a bad beat I issued on someone. I don't hear enough stories about those kinds of beats.

You know, the ones where you’re the donkey.

It's more fun that way. In fact, let’s talk about two beats in particular.

Some would say they're bone rattling junk kickers.

I'd call them viscous beats. Without a doubt.

Can you feel the suckouts coming? I know they can.

It's not just about taking someone's money you know.

Sometimes it’s about taking their dignity too.

El maldito rio is what they called it in 2004 . . . for the other guy, not me. Some things never change.

Bad beats happen all the time. Some worse than others.

Mine are gold.

As you will soon see.

I was horrified at first. I shook my head both times.

After having some time to digest them, I've become quite fond of them.

I hope you do too.

It didn't take much to convince me. They're instant classics in my book.

It’s safe to assume that I am the donkey in each.

Suckout # 1:

I had K-To in late position and I was one of the big stacks in a tourney. This suckout was huge because the pot was three way and I had the worst hand preflop.

I went up against K-Js who had a real big stack too and T-T who had the shortest stack of the three of us.

I raised preflop after K-J limped. It was a huge over raise by me too. I got both guys to call with T-T moving all in for the rest of his chips.

The flop came down K-4-8 rainbow.

K-J moved all in on the flop. I thought forever before I made my decision. I said fuck it.

I was the big stack. Plus it was only one click away.

“Call,” I said to my computer screen.

Then I clicked the call button like any donkey would.

I didn’t know it at the time but I was about to witness a miracle.

The turn card was a K.

The river card was a Ten.

So freakin' sick.

The chat erupted with the usual banter. Some insults too.

1 beat. 2 players busted.

My big stack became a monster stack.

After a few barbs were sent my way.

I typed, “Ship it!” in the chat. Just to be a dick.

I don’t even remember how I did in that tourney. Nor do I care right now.

It’s about the memories, you see.

Sure, I play to win the game. But sometimes, it’s about making someone cry.

I’m pretty sure one of those guys cried that night. They always do after a bad beat.

This time would be no different.

I felt it in my heart.

I'd buy that for a dollar. Who wouldn't?

KT vs KJ vs TT:

Board is K48-K-T

Suckout # 2:

I had A-K.

My opponent had 4-4.

I raised preflop of course.

He called.

The flop comes down K-4-5.

He bet.

I raised.

I didn’t know it at the time but I was in trouble. Or so conventional wisdom would dictate.

Apparently, TPTK is gold against a set.

What happened next was brutal.

I know. You think I caught runner runner for the wheel, right?

Nope, think again.

This is what made the beat so chilling and tough to stomach.

The turn card was a 5.

Full house for him.

Two pair for me. With an Ace kicker I thought.

The river was a 5.

Someone got felted and it wasn't me.

“He had you on the turn,” someone typed in the chat.

No shit Sherlock.

That beat was rough for sure.

Hell, I didn’t even realize I won the pot at first.

Then Riverstars shipped it my way.


“He had you on the turn.”

Yes, but you had me at hello.

Sure, I caught running 5's to win the pot with a higher boat.

But was I such a bad person?

I’m obviously a donkey. A river rat too. No arguments there.

Save it for your blog?

Let it go I say. Can’t we all get along?

Horrific beat? Sure.

But it's also a fine piece of art work. A masterpiece even.

My only regret is that my opponent didn't have more money.

Good bad beat stories are fun. You can't charge anyone for listening to those, can you?

Do you smell what I'm cooking?

Here's to 4 more years you crackers!!

AK vs 44:

Board is K45-5-5

Speaking of bad beats and crackers . . . poor poor Tommy from Angel Beach had to deal with this chick tugging at his tallywhacker. Mustafa tells me he's seen worse beats than Beulah Balbricker. I don't doubt that for one second.

Enjoy . . .


At 4/27/2008 6:11 PM, Blogger donkeypuncher said...

You still have the magic.

At 4/28/2008 8:59 AM, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

Sure, I play to win the game. But sometimes, it’s about making someone cry.

I love it...ball cracker in the weeds...haha!

At 4/28/2008 11:08 PM, Blogger Dr. Pauly said...

Some of the pics are priceless... like Vernon.

At 4/30/2008 2:55 PM, Anonymous PokerLT said...

what name of this movie?

At 5/07/2008 11:32 PM, Anonymous Pam Simmons said...

My worst beat came at Foxwoods in 2003. I had AA and it was cracked by 59off. Flop was A99. Money goes all in. Turn was a 9, river the 4the fourth nine! Can you say ONE OUTED! heheheh. rotflmao.

At 5/09/2008 11:26 AM, Blogger BadBlood said...

Your bro' said to come by here and show some love. See? I've unzipped my pants just for you.

Why are you laughing?

At 5/10/2008 12:30 AM, Blogger Daddy said...


One time I had K7 and he had 89 and the flop was 789 and he bet all he had and I raised him his mom's panty drawer.

River was a K and next thing I know I've got stained crotchless around my neck singing showtunes.

Talk at me, but not near me, nor around me. Then we'll speak.
But not before.
Nor after.
Sometime around then.
If you've got the Kush.


At 5/11/2008 2:57 PM, Blogger Ingoal said...

Wheeeeeeeee! Your bro told us to show some love...so here it is: love...to the next 4*x years!


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